PouchChores for 13-year-olds
Quick answer
Many 13-year-olds push back and want a say, so make the chore list a negotiation. Agree on a set of expected jobs, such as laundry, their room and a weekly cleaning task, and offer paid extras like washing the car or yard work. Kids vary, so write the deal down and review it.
Why negotiation helps now
Thirteen often comes with opinions about everything. Fighting each chore wears you both out. A written deal gives your teen a voice and takes you out of the nagging role.
How to run the conversation
- Pick a calm moment, not right after a missed job.
- List what the household needs done each week.
- Split it into expected jobs and paid extras.
- Let your teen propose which they take and when.
- Write the deal down and set a review date, such as in a month.
Expected jobs and paid extras
| Job | Type | How often |
|---|---|---|
| Tidy room and change sheets | Expected | Weekly |
| Own laundry | Expected | Weekly |
| Dishes after dinner | Expected | Daily |
| Take the bins out | Expected | Weekly |
| Cook one family meal | Expected | Weekly |
| Wash the car with an adult | Paid extra | Occasional |
| Rake leaves or sweep the yard | Paid extra | Seasonal |
| Babysit a sibling for an hour | Paid extra | Occasional, if agreed |
| Deep clean the bathroom | Paid extra | Monthly |
Our guide on tying allowance to chores explains the choices. Pouch lets you attach pay to a single chore and keeps a pretend balance, if you want to track the extras.
Negotiated chart, age 13
| Chore | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat | Sun |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dishes after dinner | |||||||
| Tidy room | |||||||
| Own laundryonce this week | |||||||
| Take the bins outonce this week | |||||||
| Cook one family mealonce this week | |||||||
| Wash the car, paidonce this week |
Keeping the deal fair
Check that the expected list is not longer than what you do yourself in a week. Teens notice quickly when a deal is lopsided, and a fair list is easier to defend. Pay for extras only when they are done well and on time, and let your teen decline an extra without penalty.
- Name the standard for each paid job, such as "car washed inside and out".
- Pay on the day, in whatever way your family does it, so the link is clear.
- Revisit the deal when school, sports or a part-time job changes the week.
- Do not tie basic respect or phone rules to chore pay.
Step-by-step guides for washing the car and raking leaves help when you hand over a paid extra.
Allowance and extras at thirteen
Nibud's 2025 survey of secondary-school students lists €20 to €25 a month for Dutch 13-year-olds. Allowance for 13-year-olds and the guide to allowance for teenagers cover what to include and what teens might pay for themselves.
If your teen wants to drop a job, ask them to name a replacement of similar size. The household still needs the work done, and the swap keeps the talk about fairness rather than about winning.
Cars, lawns and siblings
Cars, lawn tools and ladders need an adult working beside your teen. Cleaning products need ventilation and no mixing, so show your teen which to use. Cooking heat and knives start with an adult nearby. Babysitting siblings means the adult stays reachable and the rules are clear.
More
Look at chores for 12-year-olds and chores for 14-year-olds.
Questions parents ask
How do I get a 13-year-old to do chores?
Negotiate a written deal with expected jobs and paid extras, and review it after a month.
Should a 13-year-old be paid for chores?
Many families pay for extras and treat basic household help as expected. You can choose either approach.
How much allowance does a 13-year-old get?
Dutch 13-year-olds typically get €20 to €25 a month, per Nibud (2025).
What if my teen refuses to negotiate?
Offer two options and ask them to pick. Choosing is a way of joining in.
Sources
- Nibud, Zakgeld: Typical amounts Dutch kids get, and age 6 as a common starting point because kids can recognize the different coins.